It's easy to despise the subculture one was raised in. Like one's biological family, the warts, ugliness, and "unlovable" parts of it are so blatantly positioned in your sight that no decently reflective person can miss it.
After graduating university, I went through a phase where I was sick and tired of the Toronto Chinese Christian Community (TCCC). Growing in it for around a couple decades made its seemingly despicable protrusions bulge to grotesque proportions in front of my eyes. A lack of depth in terms of touching upon matters of the soul. A lack of modeling of being appropriately assertiveness when necessary (especially for males). A lack of healthy conflict resolution and loving relational confrontation to heal the social fabric when conflict inevitably occurs. A lack of serious engagement with the arts. A lack of taking the Christian mind super seriously with sharp intellectual training to engage the secular narrative in dialogue at the worldview level. And much more. All these things, I had to learn by exploring outside the very small perimeters of the TCCC bubble.
I'm an adventurer at heart. By my very nature, I like discovering new spiritual continents that have new eye opening awakenings in the things of God. Through almost a decade of a journey post-university, I've learned how to practically listen to and discern the Holy Spirit's voice and leading. I've learned how the landscape of the soul works, how it heals, and to take it very seriously. I've learned how to discern deep hidden spiritual strongholds in the wounds of one's heart, uproot them, surgically remove the lies embedded in those wounds, and bring them to God to be healed. I've learned how to be appropriately assertive when the situation calls for it. I've learned how to engage in loving relational confrontation when necessary. I've learned how to bridge Christian theology with a serious engagement with the arts. I've trained my mind with some rigour in serious Christian thinking. After spending a decade travelling and immersing myself in different Christian subcultures on different countries and continents as well as spiritually journeying through exploring different spiritualities from differing denominations across the Christian spectrum, I've been exposed to quite a bit in terms of the extended worldwide family of God's kingdom outside the narrow parameters of the Toronto bubble I was confined to before I reached my 20s.
It's easy to bash one's family. It's a lot harder to appreciate the things taken for granted, things that have been moved to the background noise of one's environment that one should be continually thankful for.
Something's been happening recently in my life though. Without me consciously making an effort to discipline myself to do so, I've naturally developed more of a deep appreciation for my original spiritual roots in the TCCC. I helped out at a TCCC conference for teens lately where I was reminded of how I was when I was a teen in this upbringing. It's priceless. You can't put a price tag on it, like your family roots. During the conference there were moments where I was just taken back in awe with my soul's pin-drop-silence of attention in gratitude. This was the spiritual subculture that raised me. The unspoken habits of the subculture. The lingo of the subculture. The bodily conditional responses embedded in the social context of this subculture. The unspoken assumptions of the subculture. The emphases of the subculture. The theological slants of the subculture. The mental framework people have towards understanding God in this subculture. The lifestyle of spirituality promoted in this subculture. It grounded me and helped me stand on my 2 feet and gave me the base to explore from. Without it, I may have not had a spiritual journey to start off with at all. I may have had no springboard to launch me on my journey. This is my heritage. It's in my faith's blood. It has precious yearbook moments in my soul. And though I don't always agree with it, I don't always like it, and there are major flaws in it, at the end of the day, I truly, genuinely love it, just like my biological family.
Wow.
These are my roots. I can't despise them. I can't have bitterness towards them. I'm realizing that it would be unthinkable to be thankless towards them. I can't secretly look down on them, even if no one ever found out.
Thank you TCCC.
So how do you recouncile the comfortable Toronto 'Christian church' subculture bubble against where God's kingdom appears to be in greater view in the midst of revival, persecution, poverty, suffering and the like?
ReplyDeleteWhat made you come back as opposed to stay where God's work seemed to be done more prominently, and what message can you bring back for those who are part of this subculture and way too comfy to want to even consider getting out of it in service to God and follow the example of Jesus to spread the gospel?
Hi there. Thanks for your question.
DeleteI came back, long story short, because I felt God (sort of) call me back. I don't confine myself in it, but I do still try to get involved when opportunities do arise where I find it well worth it. I'm here for now at least. What message can I bring back? I've always been about providing opportunities for people to learn what I've learned if they want (exploring the soul, the Holy Spirit, the intellectual Christian worldview, the arts). I've learned not to force it down people who aren't ready for it though, but I do try to plant ideas in the soil of people's minds here and there when I can. I know they will sprout when God chooses to grow them. I've learned not to guilt trip people out of the comfy spiritual Shire. But I try to vision cast that there's so much more out of the Shire if they truly want it more than the Shire comfort.