Our minds make representations of ourselves. These representations can be hijacked by defense mechanisms that protect us from facing our flaws, imperfections, and "personality pimples". When this happens, our self-images flatter us. We don't take into account the total sum of our personality acne and pimpled humanness. Only the things that reinforce the shine of our self-flattering representations. And we try to arrange circumstances to reinforce those glossy marble statues of ourselves.
The problem is that marble statues are fragile. When more or less "harmless" words or actions from others accidentally tip them over, they smash into a million pieces. But a flawed, imperfect, personality-pimpled human will not, and will stay intact.
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