Ever increasing levels of the unknown

It seems as if with every additional year that I intentionally try to follow God more closely, the more unknowns emerge and more unknowns are forecasted for my future.

When I first started this intentional walk with God through spiritual formation about 4-5 years ago, I thought I knew roughly how my life would turn out 4-5 years later. God has drastically, I mean DRASTICALLY flipped my plans upside down and shattered them. Where I would work. My income. Who and when I would marry. What my "part-time"/non-paid ministry would be like. How my relationship with God would existentially feel like on a day to day basis in relating to him. What kind of theological equipping I would be engaged in. What kind of role in the Great Commission I would have.

All flipped. All shattered.

God definitely has a way of turning our plans upside down. But I'm getting used to it. And it doesn't seem as unpleasant as it used to be.

And I realize that most biblical characters who walked close with God had to live a life full of unknowns with God where God guided them the next few steps of their journey and not the next mile. Abraham. Noah. Elijah. Moses. David. Peter. Paul. They lived lives full of unknowns when they intentionally tried to grow and remain close with God relationally. I'm sure a lot of the time these characters knew that they wouldn't be able to predict what major shifts in their lives would happen to them next year, let alone next month, let alone next week, and sometimes... even the next day. But, for the most part, they were okay with it. Or at least they learned to be okay with it (after respectfully yet sincerely flipping out and venting their off-guard emotions to God at times). This seems like part of the package in walking closely with God. It's either a good thing or bad thing depending on how one looks at it.

All I know is that right now, I have no idea who and when I'll marry. When/what kind of work I'm going to do (although I do have my God-given wishes, and I see more and more of how he's shaped me and is showing me more and more what my role in the Kingdom of God is). Where I'll live. What "part time"/non-paid ministry I would do. What area in the Kingdom of God I should proactively try to grow in. How my relationship with God will existentially feel on a day to day basis in the future. etc. Every time I try to predict/plan this stuff, God just ends up rearranging things.

I'm learning not only to accept the unknown, but to try to develop the attitude of learning to delight in it. God's the best storywriter afterall.